Missing fox
by FantasyPixie
Summary: Stiles had always been a lonely soul but after the Nogitsune is captured an he's back to normal, he's not as fine as he makes out. Is it just the stress of running with the pack or something much more? Read to find out.
1. Preface Missing a damn fox

Do you understand what it's like to feel completely empty? To feel nothing but…sad…That there's just an emptiness that you can't fill the gap, can't fathom the words to explain and it's not like it's a new thing that you've never felt. Life is shit and when life gives you the good times it has to balance with the bad ones. Stiles got that. It's just when that bad turns into an a constant companion that he stressed out.

That's what Stiles felt. It started like a niggling at the back of his mind that only started whispering when he was on his own; when he was frustrated, when his Dad was working the late shift and Scotty was busy or the pack was busy an he just sat there, eating dinner on his own… for the third time this week.

It stayed that way for a really long time that Stiles just grew accustomed to the void in his chest so he really didn't see any point in telling anyone because when he was happy, he was ecstatic to feel loved so he simply… just forgot about the sadness.

But then he was surround with family an friends again an he didn't have the strength to talk to anyone, he found it hard to explain, he found the little things hard, getting up to go to school, going to a pack meeting were he would feel like the outsider… what with him simply being 'just an annoying human again' That went to the back of his mind when Peter sneered at him in a pack meeting once- the first meeting after the Nogitsune incident; he stored an ready to dwell on when he was alone. He remembered having to leave a classroom a couple of times to cause this stupid sadness just washed over him without warning an it would press itself onto his chest an create a physical pain: _A panic attack._ It wasn't a full blown panic, just that he found it hard to breathe hard to focus his vision.

When he was back to his _'normal self'_ he had to admit, he missed the fox, not all the shitty, demonic things he forced Stiles to do- _his mind was still racked with overwhelming guilt over the death's he let happen-_ he still had nightmares. He just missed the inner strength, the lack to mortal ties the Noguitune gave him. He finally had a physical thing to blame for the sadness.

Stiles noticed he seemed to have picked up one bad habit left behind by the demonic fox; he would tap his fingers against a table, his desk, anything that made him feel calm.

Everyone told him that he was transfixed in a void state when he was controlled, but that made no sense to him cause to be honest with you; he felt more void in reality then he ever did in that state And to be fair his friends an even his father have been keeping out of his way. Stiles figured out that they couldn't separate the things _'evil foxy spirt Stiles'_ had done with the _'held against his will Stiles'_

And he couldn't say he blamed them. He didn't even trust himself at the moment. And what with all the secret meetings and hushed whispers the pack had that they didn't know he knew about he found himself pretty much alone all the time.

So what happen's now?

He had know fucking idea.

Stiles spent most of his free time sat staring at the screen, on the internet; tying to fill his time before he could shut his brain off for a few hours before being awoken from another nightmare. He would even look through his homework an tap his pen on the empty paper before throwing that idea away along with the paper an pen.

The thing that hurt him the most was that nobody seemed to care; he knew that fact wasn't true but still, nobody came to see him or ask how he was. He was just so terribly lonely at times. He wanted to be happy. But now he was too scared, of everything, he couldn't go out, he just felt like a fish out of water whenever he stepped outside. He would try an quell the panic in his chest but failed, so after a few times of the same deal over an over again, he just stayed at home an locked himself away from the world.

He didn't know what to do, he was alone, scared and for fuck's shake he missed a demonic fox.

 **|A.N: Hey all. I** **decided to attempt to give writing a Teen Wolf thing. One because I love Stiles character in s3 an refuse to believe that he wouldn't have side effects, that an every other Stiles carry on story I've read has pretty much always had a Stiles/Derek tag an I'm just not interested in that couple... don't kill me.**

 **R &R an I swear to you, a faster update will appear. Just so I know is this story any good? Bye.|**


	2. Back with a vengeance

Stiles knew he was sick again. He could feel it creeping under his skin, infecting his bones. He wondered if his mom ever felt like this; so out of sorts with herself, so fearful of loosing her mind, her life; that's how he felt now… heck that's how he felt most of the time, especially when he had his panic attacks.

Stiles was sitting in his jeep just watching his classmates going into the school, heading into class without a care in the world. Well that's not entirely true; not a care about the supernatural world. Oh how he yearned to be back into that world. He wanted to be naive again.

His mind was crumbling against the pressure of being the only human in the wolf pack, one turn of the coin and he wanted to protect his friends, his dad… at whatever the cost.

The other turn he wanted out. But there wasn't one. He already searched for an out when the Nogitsune was trying to corrupt his mind.

He remembered he didn't want to hurt anyone, even is that meant loosing his mind completely before his fox took it for himself. Look what happened there; he murdered Allison.

Stiles was ripped away from his thoughts as a buzzing sound rung throughout the car. Why could he hear that? He tore his jeep apart trying to look for the location of the source he didn't have to search very hard. A chill hit his back, making a shiver scurry up his spine.

"I must be awfully popular lately, people are always visiting my grave." Stiles tried to calm his manic heartbeat down with that old wive's tale, it didn't work however because as he slowly turned his head towards the passenger seat, he could see him again, his demonic fox friend. The Nogitsune. He was back and Stiles could see him again. That's when Stiles breath came up short; he was gasping to let air sooth his burning lungs but there was never enough to supply his demand.

Stiles snapped his eyes shut willing it not to be reality. His hands where trembling as he gripped his steering wheel for dear life, his shaking arm reached out to his stereo, maxing the volume out to try and drown out his overwhelming fears.

For the past few months music had become his crutch to lean on; Stiles found that he could think clearly when the soothing beats of the music played it's way into his mind, becoming his shield to fight his own dark thoughts.

Stiles panic attack quelled back into the depths of the fear it emerged from. The music slowly disappeared into the background as he focused on his own breathing.

A loud crack at his window broke his man-made tranquility. Stiles prized his eyes open, rolling down the jeeps window to see the new pup of the pack- Liam- staring at him with concern filling his eyes when he saw the state of Stiles had gotten himself into.

Liam fixed his slipping rook-sack to his shoulder again. He ran across towards the passenger seat, hesitantly pausing at the door before he jumped into the older boys car.

Stiles breathed a sigh of relief as he noticed the slippery fox was gone when the freshman's body collided with the fox turning him into vapour.

"Hey Stiles, are you… alright man?" Liam tried to start a conversation but stalled as he noticed the older boy wasn't even looking at him but rather right through him. Liam knew that the older boy had hated him from the moment they met. He also understood how important the lanky boy was to his Alpha. He wanted to be friends with him too. And he was scared for him.

Now he was sat in the car with Stiles he could properly observe him; the man in question was just sitting there with his hands gripping the wheel like it would fall off or something, but knowing Stile's banged up jeep that could be a real possibility. Stiles was in some sort of trace too, just staring down at his hands.

With heightened senses Liam could hear the pounding of his heart against his ribcage, he could see the beads of sweat slipping down Stile's forehead and anyone could tell that he hadn't been sleeping, what with the bags resting under his eyes. He smelled his fear

"I'm fine Liam, get back to Scott." Stiles's lies rolled off his tongue.

Liam shook his head instantly disagreeing. "You're lying, I can tell because you told me how to listen to the heartbeat to know when someone's lying." The young boy stated feeling proud of himself.

"What do you want? a cookie or something." Stile's snarked at the boy. When he saw the hurt expression on Liam Stiles instantly felt guilty.

"Look, sorry dude, I only get you're trying to help. Ignore me; I'm just narked cause I missed breakfast." Stiles tried to apologise, his grip loosened again an he began to slowly relax.

Liam happily accepted his apology in a flash. "Ugh, same here bro, Wait a sec, I think I might have a chocolate bar in my bag." before Stiles could even tell Liam not to bother he was practically shovelling the chocolate bar into his mouth.

"Chocolate helps." Liam pointed out when Stiles gagged on a piece of the chocolate.

"Who told you that?" Stiles coughed managing not to upchuck the offered food, he thought it might be rude if he threw up on the person who just sacrificed his own chocolate.

Liam glanced down at his hands- embarrassed- he bit his lip nervously.

"Professor Lupin." he admitted finally when Stiles's raised a questioning eyebrow waiting for some kind of response off the pup.

Stiles chuckled, only because he was waiting for that answer. He was indeed starting to feel a tad better, however he suspected that was to do with the person sat in the passenger seat.

"What can I help you with anyway young pup? It can't be just to give out your chocolate or quote Harry Potter."

Liam's brows furrowed down confusion poured over him. It took him a few moments to remember why he even came here in the first place.

"Oh right! Stiles, your music; You can hear it before you even get to the school parking lot. It's a little loud bro. Liam laughed off and turned the music off.

Stile's just stared at his stereo, lost in a trance again as soon as the music stopped playing.

"What's going on in that head of yours Stiles?" Liam gently questioned him.

Suddenly Stiles opened his door and leaped out in a rush.

"Come on dude, we've missed our home room's." Stiles brushed off Liam's question with ease.

Liam pulled Stile's back to him. Stile's sighed knowing he wasn't going to sarcastically worm his way out of this one.

"Back in the car. Now!" Stiles ordered shoving Liam roughly back into his truck.

"Hey! Watch it!" Liam complied brushing Stiles off easily but shuffled in his seat, he watched Stiles lift himself into his truck and restart the engine.

They drove in silence for a while, by now it was clear that Stiles was driving towards the hospital. Liam didn't feel the need to question Stiles right now.

A long time passed before Stiles spoke again. Liam had never seen the guy so quiet before, it freaked him out.

"Music helps. I know you understand that bro."

Liam nodded. He did get it; before his anger did overtime he jammed his headphones in his ears and blocked the world out.

"True, music helps; my headphone's were practically attached to my ears when I got turned- Liam's mind jumped to conclusions before he could connect the dots- wait- you've not been bitten have you?" Liam squeaked out, he was freaking out to put it mildly. "Cause if you have that's not cool cause I know Scott wouldn't have done that to you… unless he had too… did he have to?" Liam flittered off questions one by one.

Stiles huffed, he found it funny how Liam reminded him of himself when he talked.

"Take a chill pill dude… just none of mine will you." Stiles smirked.

Liam blushed laughing loudly. He had a habit of rabbiting on when he didn't understand something and he never understood Stiles; he was always too smart for him to keep up.

"Sorry."

"No sweat. Listen… I just have panic attacks- no big- music just helps." Stiles parked up his jeep outside the entrance of the hospital. "Come on, get out; I'm late for my appointment.

They jumped out Stiles' jeep; Liam had a bounce in his stride whereas Stiles just seemed like a zombie; Liam normally had to jog to keep up with the older boy.

"Why do you have an appointment- why we here? What's wrong? Tell me Stiles. If something's up than Scott should know right."

Stiles shook his head "Wrong pup." Stiles corrected him and walked up to the hospital's front desk introducing himself to the nurse- Stiles thanked the flash for small mercy's that Melissa had a day off today- mind you he did make sure she was off when he booked his appointment.

Stile's glanced down at his trembling hands. He knew a certain new pup was staring at him with furrowed brows. They managed to nab the spare seats in the waiting area that were normally always occupied by other sick folks.

"It's called _Frontotemporal Dementia_ ; my mother had it, it's the only type of dementia that can affect teenagers. Life sucks. Stile's summarised to explain to Liam. He only seemed to get more confused.

"Wait, I don't get what you're saying slow down a sec; Scott told me that you had this scare before but that it was just the Nogitsune. Stiles agreed with a nod of the head.

"Turn's out that's all me. I'm still having the… symptoms even after the Nogitsune's gone." Stiles eyed Liam

"You're still having nightmares?" Liam guessed.

"Night terrors but I've always had them; ever since my mom died."

Liam was even more confused now when Stiles carried on explaining; he cupped his shanking hands under his chin.

" I don't really want to know what might happen to me so can we just shut up about it now. Stiles rubbed his palm over his face to mask his flowing tears.

"I-can't be- like my Mother." Stile's stuttered out. Liam reached out to hug Stiles, it was awkward but Stile's needed comfort and he'd seen Scott always hug it out when Stiles was upset.

You know in movie's when they want to covey the bad news they always slow the footage and start to play the sad music?

That's what was happening to him as they spoke. There he was; sitting in the most uncomfortable chair that's ever been made with Liam across from him and the scary consultant delivering the dreaded diagnose's sat in front of the pair with his Georgian desk between them. The desk matched the rest of the room, Stiles though his room was as stuffy as he seemed.

When he talked to them he seemed to be talking in slow motion. His lips moved but Stiles couldn't make heads or tails of it. His eyes drifted to the Doctor's fancy navy-blue ball point pen as the good-looking doctor twilled it around in his fingers

"Mr Stilinski, did you hear me? It's good news; you don't have _Frontotemporal Dementia._ Now because of your Mother's passed records we'll always have to keep a close eye on you but for now no change is a good thing."

Accept Stiles didn't feel like it was a 'good' thing. He thinks it's a terrible thing.

Stiles looked passed the Doctor to his demon fox who was standing above the sitting Doctor, his hands resting on the back of the Doctor's chair. The fox lifted his hand to robotically wave at his mirror image.

 _Stiles didn't want to be like his Mother, however summing it up as he glared at void Stiles who the Nogitsune wore like mask._

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 ** _AN: Hi all, hope_** ** _you enjoyed this chapter... did you expect the outcome? Remember to R &R to let me know, it really helps to spare me on while writing. :)_**


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